In the first part of this series, we discussed what mental health is, whether children can be born with or develop mental health difficulties, and some of the factors that may contribute to them. In this part, we will look at some of the more common mental health conditions found in children.
Before continuing, it is important to understand that children often communicate through their behaviour rather than their words. Unlike adults, many children cannot explain that they are anxious, overwhelmed, frightened, or emotionally exhausted. Instead, those struggles may appear as anger, constant crying, tantrums, withdrawal, clinginess, aggression, refusal to attend school, difficulty sleeping, poor concentration, or behaviour that is quickly labelled as “attention-seeking,” “spoilt,” “lazy,” or “naughty.”
This does not mean that every child who displays these behaviours has a mental health condition. Children naturally test boundaries, have emotional outbursts, and behave differently as they grow. However, when behaviours are persistent, intense, interfere with daily life, or represent a significant change from how the child usually behaves, they should not simply be dismissed. Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with this child?” we should sometimes ask, “What might this child be experiencing?”
Only a qualified healthcare professional can diagnose a mental health condition. Our role as parents and caregivers is to observe, seek knowledge, and seek appropriate help when needed.
Now let’s look at some of the common disorders that affect children.
Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions in children, yet it is also one of the easiest to overlook. Many people imagine an anxious child to be quiet and shy, but anxiety can present in many different ways.
A child with anxiety may worry excessively about everyday situations. They may constantly ask for reassurance, become fearful over things that seem minor to others, or repeatedly ask, “What if…?” questions. Some children become distressed when separated from their parents, refuse to attend school, struggle to sleep alone, or avoid social situations altogether.
Anxiety does not only affect the mind. It often affects the body.
Many anxious children frequently complain of stomach aches, headaches, nausea, dizziness, chest tightness, or feeling unwell, particularly before school, examinations, social events, or unfamiliar situations. Parents may visit doctors repeatedly, only to be told that no physical cause can be found. This does not mean the child is pretending. Anxiety can produce genuine physical symptoms because the body responds to stress as though it were facing danger.
Some children cry easily, while others become angry, frustrated, or irritable because they cannot explain what they are feeling. Others become extremely clingy, struggle to sleep, wake frequently during the night, or have recurring nightmares.
Some anxious children also become perfectionists. They fear making mistakes, become upset if their work is not “perfect,” or constantly worry about disappointing others.
Because anxiety presents differently in every child, it is often misunderstood. One child may be called “too sensitive,” another “spoilt,” another “dramatic,” while another is simply labelled “difficult.” In reality, they may be living with overwhelming anxiety.
Depression
Many people find it difficult to believe that children can experience depression. Sadly, they can.
Depression is far more than feeling sad for a few days. It is a condition that affects how a child thinks, feels, and functions.
Some children become unusually quiet and withdrawn. Others become irritable, angry, or lose interest in activities they once loved. A child who previously enjoyed playing outside or spending time with friends may suddenly isolate themselves or spend long periods alone.
Parents may notice changes in appetite, sleeping too much or too little, persistent tiredness, poor concentration, declining school performance, or frequent complaints that they are bored or that nothing makes them happy anymore.
Some children become extremely self-critical. They may believe they are a burden, think they are “stupid,” or feel that nobody likes them. Older children and teenagers may even speak about death, hopelessness, or believing that others would be better off without them. Such statements should never be dismissed as attention-seeking.
Depression can affect children from loving homes just as physical illnesses can. It is not simply a matter of telling a child to “cheer up.”
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
ADHD is one of the most misunderstood childhood conditions. It is often mistaken for laziness, poor discipline, or a lack of respect.
Children with ADHD often struggle with what psychologists call executive functioning. This includes organising tasks, remembering instructions, controlling impulses, planning ahead, and maintaining attention.
A child may genuinely intend to tidy their room but become distracted within minutes. They may forget instructions almost immediately, constantly lose school equipment, interrupt conversations, struggle to wait their turn, or leave tasks unfinished despite trying their best.
Some children appear constantly “on the go.” They fidget, climb excessively, talk continuously, or find it extremely difficult to remain seated. Others have the inattentive form of ADHD and may appear quiet, daydreamy, forgetful, and easily distracted rather than hyperactive.
Because these children are frequently corrected by adults, they often begin believing they are “the naughty child,” “the lazy child,” or “the one who always gets into trouble.” Over time, this repeated criticism can damage their confidence and self-esteem.
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person communicates, understands social situations, and experiences the world around them.
Autistic children may communicate differently from their peers. Some speak very little, while others have excellent language skills but struggle to understand facial expressions, tone of voice, jokes, sarcasm, or unwritten social rules.
Many autistic children rely on routines because predictability helps them feel safe. Unexpected changes, even small ones, may cause significant distress.
Sensory differences are also common. A sound that most people barely notice may feel painfully loud. Certain clothing textures, food textures, bright lights, crowded places, or strong smells may become overwhelming.
When sensory overload becomes too great, a child may experience what is known as a meltdown. This is not the same as a tantrum. A tantrum is usually directed towards achieving a desired outcome, whereas a meltdown occurs when the child’s nervous system becomes overwhelmed and they lose the ability to regulate themselves.
Many autistic children are wrongly described as rude, stubborn, awkward, or badly behaved when they are actually processing the world differently.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
OCD is far more than simply liking things to be neat.
Children with OCD experience intrusive thoughts. These are unwanted thoughts, fears, or images that repeatedly enter their minds and cause intense anxiety. The child does not choose these thoughts and is often frightened or embarrassed by them.
To reduce the anxiety, they may feel compelled to perform certain actions repeatedly, such as excessive handwashing, checking doors, counting, arranging objects in a particular order, repeating prayers or phrases, or repeatedly asking for reassurance.
Even when they know these behaviours seem unnecessary, they often feel unable to stop because the anxiety becomes overwhelming.
Without understanding OCD, adults may mistakenly believe the child is simply seeking attention or being difficult, when in reality they are trapped in a cycle of fear and compulsive behaviour.
Trauma-Related Difficulties
Trauma affects children in many different ways. Experiences such as abuse, neglect, domestic violence, serious accidents, bullying, losing a loved one, natural disasters, or war can have a lasting impact on a child’s emotional wellbeing.
Some children become withdrawn and unusually quiet. Others become angry, aggressive, or constantly alert to danger. Some develop nightmares, begin wetting the bed after previously being dry, become fearful of being separated from their parents, or seem to “switch off” emotionally.
A child who has experienced trauma may struggle to trust others, concentrate at school, or regulate their emotions. They may react strongly to situations that remind them, even indirectly, of the traumatic experience.
Behaviour is often communication. Sometimes what appears to be “bad behaviour” is actually a child expressing pain that they do not yet have the words to describe.
A Final Reminder
As Muslims, we know that every illness and every trial occurs by the decree of Allah, the Most Wise. We also know that Allah has created means through which healing may come. Just as we seek treatment for a broken bone, asthma, or diabetes, there is no contradiction in seeking appropriate support for a child’s mental or emotional health while placing our complete trust in Allah.
Understanding these conditions does not mean excusing every behaviour, nor does it mean placing labels on every child. Rather, it helps us respond with greater wisdom, justice, mercy, and insight.
In the next part, we will discuss warning signs that should never be ignored, common misconceptions about children’s mental health, and practical ways parents can support their children while remaining firmly grounded upon the Quran and Sunnah
BarakaAllahu Feeki 🌺